This pool-water blue ice queen monolith is one of the world’s most impressive glaciers. Sharp as a shot of vodka, her 250 square kilometres of ice continually advance forward slicing out grooves, ridges and drops vicious enough to swallow up a person without evidence. Perito Moreno sits pretty near El Calafate in the Argentinian province of Santa Cruz; a sweet, recreational town whose cozy winter streets inspire you to do little else but drink scotch all day. From here, visitors travel to watch the glacier’s 5 kilometre wide wall of advancing ice and listen to the guttural creakings emitted as it groans, twists and breaks with the effort of moving forward. Every now and then, the pressure proves too great, causing a chunk of wall many metres high to fall into the icy waters below. This is the moment the viewers hope for. A *craaaaaaaaaaaack,* followed by a *splassssssssh,* followed by a cheer. The crowd’s expectant silence has been momentarily broken. But not for long. Soon, the quiet majesty of Perito Moreno and its antsy, impatient internal moaning mesmerise once more.